


Until

by Jagaimo_chan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Multi, Pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8548075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jagaimo_chan/pseuds/Jagaimo_chan
Summary: Lev was just a first year when the bus taking Nekoma to their volleyball match crashed. No one was severally hurt. Some broke bones, others were scratched up, but that didn't matter any more because Lev couldn't see it. He couldn't be the Ace he dreamed of becoming and he lost all contact with his friends. Then Yaku came back. Lev was a third year now and Yaku was in his second year of college. Things became better and a year and a half passed. Now it's been three years since THAT day and Lev still replays those memories of them. He replays them until the day they can meet again. Until then.





	1. Chapter 1

What do you get when you have a blind teen and a drug addict living together? No, this isn’t some type of sick joke. Although, it is funny when I think about it. It’s so funny I start crying remembering the fun situation we found ourselves in. Situations I never thought I could ever live through, laughs I never thought would leave my throat, love that I never thought would infect my heart. Those were all things Yaku helped me with. Yaku, the guy everyone thought of as too serious to break into the school’s pool and skinny dip. Yaku, the guy who yelled at me for not wearing socks around the house when it was cold but said “fuck it” and ran with under the rain with me after telling him about how I used to love watching the rain fall. Yaku, the one person I thought I would never get to.

It’s been three years and his recording still plays throughout my house day and night. His scolding voice fills my ears with joy and my useless eyes with tears. If only I could have seen him smile at least once but I still remember the sensation of his smiling lips against my skin. The first time he let me touch his beautiful face will forever be burned into my two hands. His unexpected small face fitting into my hands like it was meant to be there. His soft short hair filling the underside of my grown-out nails and his small hands holding mine onto his face as if telling me to never forget him. Everything about that day was magical and so unreal. There was nothing romantic about not being able to see him in front of me. I didn’t believe romanticizing my inability to see his smile, his tears, him. Yet, he made sure I knew I could touch his heart.  

“If there’s something you absolutely can’t do then you use what you can do to overcome the obstacles.”

So, I listened to his heart, I took in his fragrance, I talked to him about our lives, and I touched his very being. I loved him, I loved him so much that I couldn’t confront him about his problem. I couldn’t tell him I could hear the difference between his sober self and his fixed self. I let him slowly slip away with every line and injection he let into his body. I just wanted to accept him the way he was, how he accepted me. I never thought that meant I had to accept his death. Yet, here I am, alone and replaying our memories over and over and over. Waiting for the day I can feel his touch again, hear his voice, and tell him that I’m sorry. Until that day I’ll make sure he can see I’m trying to live for both of us, like he wanted. Until then I’ll replay our memories over and over without missing a single moment we were together. Just until then.   

 

_ Just until then.  _


	2. Bedroom warfare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's 3:30 am and I'm not sure where this is going but I wanted to try. Sorry I suck..... feedback please ?   
> Have a great day and y'all are beautiful jellybeans

Lev wasn’t sure of what was going on anymore. It had been a while since he had another man touch his skin the way Kuroo was doing so now. The pleasure was intense but the guilt was overpowering. He couldn’t help but remember the last time he had such an intimate moment, back when Yaku was still alive. Yaku had been so gentle with him, helping himself to Lev’s skin while guiding his hand around the smaller boy’s body. It was so different from the current situation.

 

The screen wasn't turning on to notify Kuroo of a new message. He wasn't sure why he even expected it to do so. He had just fucked his best friends true love, ex-love? Kuroo had dreamt of Lev’s touch even before Yaku and Lev started dating. Lev was such an interesting person and Kuroo wanted him to himself. Yet, he managed to play matchmaker and helped Yaku and Lev get together. 

 

Kuroo pulled out a long chocolate flavored cigarette in hopes of having the smoke calm him down. He turned his back to the city and faced the interior of his apartment. Bless the existence of balconies,they were so useful and necessary. Kuroo tried to make a mental list of why balconies were so necessary in life in hopes of keeping his mind off the reality of what had just happened. It just wasn't working.

 

Kuroo get your shit together 

 

He repeated this phrase over and over. Maybe if he said it a billion times he would actually get his shit together. It wasn't working. All Kuroo could think of, besides the usefulness of balconies, was Lev calling out for Yaku as HE touched him and made Lev HIS. Did Kuroo mean nothing to Lev? Kuroo had been there for Lev before and after his accident. Making sure Lev never gave up on school and keeping him alive when Lev had hit rock bottom. Meanwhile Yaku had forgotten about their kohai after graduation. All Yaku did was sleep around with girls and inject drugs into his body for a high that never lasted. 

 

Kuroo was angry now. He wished he could have Yaku in front of him so he could punch him. Yaku never cared for Lev the way Kuroo did when he lost his eyesight. Yaku never once asked for Lev after graduation. Yaku never gave anything up for Lev the way Kuroo gave up sleep so he could go to Lev’s house to look after him. Yaku couldn't even give up the one thing that was killing him. If he had then he would still be here. He would have been the one kissing Lev, not Kuroo. He would have been the one taking all of Lev in and getting high on his intoxicating scent, not Kuroo. He would have been the one making Lev ascend into cloud nine, not Kuroo. Even then, even then Lev only thought of Yaku, not Kuroo. Even if Kuroo was the one touching him and whispering sweet poems into his ear only Yaku’s name was called out. He wanted t hate Lev so much but he couldn't let him go. He wanted to hate Yaku so much but what was the point ? What was the point of anything he was doing, of anything he ever did ! 

 

Lev was the point of everything. Kuroo could swear at himself for hours but he knew he would go back to Lev tomorrow. He had to make sure the younger boy ate breakfast and managed to get to school. He wanted to make sure Lev could smile and that he wasn't getting bullied in school again. There was no way Kuroo could leave him. Sometimes he wondered, if Lev could see again would he still say Yaku’s name? Or would he see Kuroo and say his name as they made love? Would it even matter? Lev might be blind but his heart could still see and it only saw Yaku. So until Lev learned to love Kuroo….. just until then will Kuroo be angry at Yaku for leaving. Just until then will Kuroo pretend to be Yaku for Le


End file.
